The Apology
by Capistrano
Summary: Matt's leaving Japan. There's just one last thing he's gotta do before he goes.


**AN:**I consider this my first fic, since I never completed my actual first one, and I probably never will. If I do I'm gonna change everything about it that makes it a fanfic. Anyway, enough about that, on to the disclaimer thing.

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**Disclaimer:**Well, if I worked for Toei, and my name was Nimoy, you could probably consider this fic cannon, but since I don't and it's not...

  


**The Apology**

  


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Matt drew a deep breath, and held it for a moment before raising his hand to the door. 'Here goes nothing,' he thought, finally releasing the breath he'd taken. His hand fell against the door once...twice...three times, then returned to his side. He stood back, and waited, and waited before shaking his head, and shooting a nervous glance to the number on the door. 'Right door,' his brow furrowed, but, then he already knew that. Maybe no one had heard his knocking. He had knocked rather softly. He started to raise his hand to the door again, but thought better of it pulling back, and running the hand over the back of his neck instead. He gave a soft sigh and shrugged. "This is stupid," he muttered aloud. It was late. No one was even up by now. Why was he even still obsessing over something as trivial as what had happened six months ago anyway? He rolled his eyes, and shook his head again, turning to walk away. Just at that moment he heard a sound like a lock turning. He cringed and froze momentarily; frantically debating whether to turn around and compose himself, or get out of there, but before he could make up his mind, the decision was made for him. He cringed harder as light from the opening doorway cast itself onto him and his surroundings, making him clearly visible to the person opening the door.

"I thought you guys weren't going to be back until morning," Jun Motimiya muttered grogely, not even bothering to look up. "It's late and I'm tired," She complained and turned to walk back into the house. "Why didn't you just use your keys instead of waki-"

"Jun," Matt called out. She started and whirled around, her eyes going wide as soon as they met his.

"Uh- um, Davis isn't here. He's-a-he's staying at Ken's tonight," She choked out, obviously flustered. Her reaction to his presence didn't do much to help Matt keep his cool either, and he stammered slightly over his next words as he informed her that-

"I- I'm not looking for Davis. I-"

"Well um, m- my parents aren't here either. So, you'll just have to come ba...," her voice trailed off inaudibly, as she looked down, and away from him, tugging anxiously at the arm of the oversized sleep shirt she was wearing.

"I want to talk to you, Jun," Matt finally asserted. Her eyes shot up, and he felt an uneasy pang of something akin to guilt creep into his gut, when he saw the questioning, nearly apphrehensive look on her face.

"What do you want?" All of the shy, timidity that had previously been present in her voice and body language had vanished, and been replaced by pure, fearful sobriety.

'I was that bad?' He grimaced inwardly, and took a short breath before forcing out his next words.

"I'm leaving for the U.S. in the morning. I- I couldn't leave without- without...Jun I- I know I haven't always been the nicest guy," he dropped his gaze. "I mean I acted like an idiot alot when you were around , but I- The last time that we saw each other I was a complete jerk." He thought back to the time he'd just spoken of.

Sora had just broken up with him the day before, again and for good; He and the bassist of his band weren't on speaking terms; and he and his mom were fighting, again. He'd really been in no mood for any company when...Bzzz. "Darn it," he'd muttered out loud to himself, as he got up and reached for the door. He'd considered closing it right back as soon as he had opened it wide enough to see who was on the other side, unfortunately he didn't. In Jun had stormed in full blown boy crazy mode, spouting some gibberish about how glad she was that he was single again, and that she hadn't really been interested in any of the other boys she'd chased during his absence from bachelorhood. He'd heard it all on an occasion or two before, during his two year, on again off again affair with Sora. Matt had been totally prepared to just stand there, roll his eyes, and act spastic until she got tired of hanging all over him, calling him ridiculous names, planning extravagant dates that he was never going to take her on, and left. However, he hadn't been prepared at all for the next thing that he heard.

"That little hussy, Sora. What did you ever see in a bimbo like her anywayz?"

That was it. That was all she'd said, but it was too much. Jun had never really had any disparaging things to say about Sora before, and up until now Matt had never felt anything worse than extreme annoyance for her outrageous antics, but now, now he was angry. Not just angry, he was seeing red.

He didn't remember the details of everything he'd said. He only remembered the look on her face when he'd finished, the way she'd run from the apartment with tears streaking down her cheeks, and the sensation that overcame him when the reality that he'd really hurt her set in. It felt alot like the sensation he was experiencing right now. The one that was currently twisting his gut into a million knots.

"Jun, I want to apologize." He looked back up at her, "I'm sorry for the things I said that day," he finished solemnly.

"Oh," She replied after a long moment. She looked down at the floor, and turned away. Matt just stood outside watching her. He wasn't sure if it was over or not. If it was finished, "Oh," really wasn't the reply he had expected to end it. After a short silence he took a step back, preparing to leave, but she spoke suddenly.

"How, long will you be gone?" she asked with a barely detectable tremor in her voice. The question threw him off, and it took him a moment to answer.

"Oh, um, I'm not sure. I don't know. Maybe a long time, probably..." There was another short silence before she spoke again.

"So, I guess you want my forgiveness now," her tone was unreadable.

"Yes. I mean no. Jun, I just couldn't leave without letting you know how sorry I was for..." he shrugged and trailed off.

"You want absolution?" It barely sounded like a question. Matt unconscious raised an eyebrow 'Had Jun just used a word like absolution?'

"Jun,"

"Why? Why does it matter to you how I feel?" Her voice grew louder. "That didn't matter to you when you were telling me everything you hate about me; how much you couldn't stand me." She turned to face him.

"Jun," Matt's shoulders fell witheringly.

"The things you said..." she left off as her voice began to crack. "You were so mean," with that sentence she gave way to tears. Matt stood speechless; overwhelmed by a mixture of remorse and self disgust at an intensity he hadn't felt in a while, and compassion for her. He walked over to where she wept.

"I'm sorry," he said looking down at her. "I don't know why I said most of those things. I didn't really mean any of it. And to tell the truth, I wasn't even that angry with you." He sighed, and put his arms around her, holding her for sometime, while she sobbed against his shoulder. Finally she pulled away from him, and began wiping her damp face.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

"No, you shouldn't. I'm the one who-" Matt began to protest, but was interrupted as Jun continued.

"No, Matt. I owe you an apology too. I've acted really foolishly for the past few years,"she gave him an embarrassed glance. "Some of that stuff you said about me was pretty true. I guess that's why it was so hard to hear." Her eyes fell in shame. "And I don't even know why I said that stuff about Sora. I've never felt that way. I guess I was just trying to impress you," her lips pursed into a small thin grimace. He gave a slight nod of understanding. A long pause followed before either of them said another word. Finally, Matt broke the silence.

"So, um, I have to go," he gave a faint smile. She looked up, and nodded returning his smile.

"Yeah, okay, I'm pretty tired, so..." She cleared her throat, "Gee, I'm feeling pretty thirsty just now though. Hey, what about you? Would you like something to drink before you leave?" She asked with instinctual hospitality. Now that she'd mentioned it, all of the stress of apologizing had left him a little parched, but 'I'd better not,' he thought.

"I- No I should go now."

"You sure?" She offered again, and to his surprise he was considering. He could use a soda, and for the first time since he'd known her the thought of spending the five minutes it would take to drink one with Jun wasn't so terrible.

"I guess I could use a drink." He smiled much brighter now.

"Okay," she smiled back, and headed for the kitchen as he walked back to close the door. "Oh, yeah. Matt," she called back over her shoulder.

"Yeah?" he answered seating himself on an overstuffed ottoman.

"I forgive you."

  



End file.
